I got her a Nickelback box set.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
