Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My vagina is officially offended.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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