Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
