Will you blow on my dice?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Ketchup is God's man juice
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize