omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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