ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
