I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
