I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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