i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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