you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
