You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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