hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
