when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
