Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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