Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
