I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
