It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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