Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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