my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
