my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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