i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
