i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
