none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
