I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
