So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
