No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
