ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
