that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
