The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
