he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
jump out the window naked night went bad
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
