i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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