i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
