Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
