shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
