They should really pass out barf bags in church
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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