its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
