So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
