next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
