the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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