you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
