i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
