i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
