Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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