New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
