Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
