found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
