i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
