Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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