I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There are leaves in my underwear?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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