How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
