We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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