Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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